Do Doulas Make Decisions for You? Understanding the Role of a Doula in Your Birth Journey
As doulas, we are often asked one fundamental question: "Do you make decisions for your clients or advocate on their behalf?"
This question isn't entirely black and white, but the short answer is no, we do not make decisions for you. Instead, our role is to support, educate, and guide you through your pregnancy, birth, and postpartum journey—empowering you to make the best, informed choices for yourself and your baby.
Our Role: Educating and Empowering You to Make Informed Decisions
The foundation of our work as doulas is rooted in education. We believe that when you have all the information about childbirth, interventions, and options, you can make the decisions that align with your values, preferences, and desires.
You are the expert on your body and your baby, and you are capable of processing all the information provided by your care team. Our goal is not to make decisions for you, but to empower you to make the decisions that are best for you.
We understand that sometimes, you may feel unsure or second-guess yourself, especially when there are difficult choices to make. In these moments, we are here to offer clarity. We provide additional information and support to help you feel confident in your decision-making process, whether you’re choosing pain management options or deciding whether or not to accept a medical intervention.
Creating a Birth Plan Together
One of the most important ways we help you is by working together to create a birth plan. This plan serves as a guide for your birth team to understand your preferences, values, and desires. While birth is unpredictable and things may change during labor, having a birth plan helps everyone involved be on the same page.
It’s important to remember that a birth plan isn’t set in stone. We understand that your preferences may shift as labor progresses, and we are there to support those changes without judgment. Whether you decide to pursue a different course of action or stick with your original plan, we are there to support you fully and ensure you understand the risks and benefits of each choice.
Supporting You in Labor and Protecting Your Space
During labor, our job is to provide unwavering support, comfort, and encouragement. We help you stay focused on your needs, even if they change. From offering comfort measures to ensuring your partner feels confident in their role, we are there to keep you grounded and calm.
In addition to providing physical support, we also help protect your birth space. We create an environment that minimizes negativity and fear-mongering, making sure that your experience is as peaceful and positive as possible.
You Have the Power, But You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
That said, you have to want it. You have to be clear about your choices, your preferences, and your goals. There will be times when your provider or nurse may not agree with your preferences. Some providers are not trained in things like VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) or breech births, and they may not be supportive of those choices. Likewise, your family members may not always agree with your decisions, especially if you’re choosing a home or natural birth.
Birth can sometimes feel like a battleground where your choices are questioned or challenged. In those moments, it’s important to remember that you have the right to stand firm in your choices. While we are here to support and guide you, the responsibility lies with you to advocate for yourself and your baby.
Not all doctors or nurses are out to undermine your birth plan, but not all are equipped to handle non-traditional birth choices either. That’s why it’s important to know what you want and why you want it. It’s essential to do your research, read about your options, and be prepared to advocate for yourself if needed.
We Are Here to Support You, No Matter What
As your doula, I am here every step of the way to support you in your decisions, no matter what they may be. If I see something that doesn’t align with your wishes or is not in your best interest, I will step in and advocate on your behalf. But at the end of the day, you are the one making the decisions.
You are strong, smart, and capable. You can do this. And I will be here, holding your hand, offering support, and ensuring that your voice is heard throughout the entire process. This is your birth—and my only job is to help you have a birth experience that you cherish, one that reflects your needs and desires.
You’ve got this. And I’ve got your back.
